Turning Points

  

   Meet Sophia,  my Wise Woman Totem Doll.  She was created at the turn of the century, circa 1999-2000.  Sophia began as a stick and a rock and an idea to create a doll that became a way to navigate "The Change" and my view of aging.  She is my Changing Woman (see Navajo).  She is  my Wise Sophia.  But before you meet my Totem Doll, let me tell you when she came into my life and why I needed to be inspired.   

   In 1999, I was 41 years old, a workaholic, a mother, wife, daughter, professional woman on the edge.  I worked too hard, partied too hard; and was on the verge of BIG BIG life transitions.  When your OB/GYN tells you to think about a finding a new job because the stress is literally causing damage to your body, you know, something’s gotta change.  And when you are looking forward to the six-week post-surgical recovery period, primarily so you can take time off from work, it’s pretty clear where the change needs to be made.

   What I'm about to describe may be TMI, but its relevant, so brace yourself.  Basically, I was a peri-menopausal, emotional wreck of a woman struggling with uterine fibroids, that meant lots of pain, bleeding and roller coaster emotions.  I needed a hysterectomy and was facing the possibility of instant menopause and hormone therapy!  It was overwhelming.  Having just moved into my 40th decade, was it going to be downhill from here?  Yikes!  All of a sudden I was approaching this crossroads marked in neon, "Change of Life!" Sheesh! What did “being menopausal” really mean?  Am I an old woman now?  They used to call them crones, didn't they?  OMG, does this mean I’m destined to be a dried up crone now?  Yes, okay, you might have notice I can conjure up my inner “Drama Queen” quite efficiently and I know I did,  but my fear was very real.

   Granted, everyone in life faces turning points in their lives – life transitions.  These transitions mark crux points, moving us from chapter to chapter in our life's story.  Sometimes we ease into the turn easily and flawlessly; sometimes we have fun and enjoy the ride; and sometimes the turn is actually a prelude to a wild, gut wrenching, roller coaster ride that we take screaming and crying all the way up, down, around and back.  I was just trying to figure out how I was gonna ride this wave of change.  I don’t like roller coasters and just the thought of “change” scared the pants off me.

   What the heck does this have to do with Sophia, my Wise Woman Totem Doll?  She was a teacher and guide for my journey to understand my approach to aging…the transition from young to old, from maiden to crone; or what I now understand the “Change” to be, the transition into Wise Womanhood. She was one of the first Spirit Art creations.  She is the result of hearing and listening to my heart, my intuition guidance system, paying attention to the synchronicities around me and bringing it all together creatively.  Creating a Doll from a branch and a rock got me out of my head and all my negativity and into my heart, in the present moment where nothing mattered but the creative process.  That in and of itself was healing.  That act allowed me to hear my inner wisdom, my wise self, my conversation with God. 
   My Totem Doll is Heart Art that continues to inspire and teach me to this day.  That's the thing about the creative process.  At its best, it is a soul connection with Spirit manifested through the skill and talent of the artist.  It can change lives.  I'll tell you how my Changing Woman/Sophia/Wise Woman Totem Doll found me and how she was created next time.  See you soon !